What is Gender Dysphoria?
In simple terms, gender dysphoria is the feeling of discomfort or distress that may occur in trans people about sex-related characteristics. But, it can be WAY deeper than that. It can commonly be broken down into three parts: Social, body, and mind. I’ll be explaining the following to my knowledge and giving some examples to help those who may be unfamiliar understand dysphoria a bit more. I will also be giving ways to help your loved ones who may be experiencing gender dysphoria as well as gender affirming resources.
Social:
This kind of dysphoria is the discomfort of socially presenting as your birth sex. Being trans can often make people feel like an odd one out in a group of their gender simply because you’re trans. Oftentimes when I’m around a group of guys, I try to mimic what they’re doing/saying to try and fit in. The second I get those weird looks or the feeling they know I’m “not like them” I get an immediate surge of that social dysphoria.
Body:
Body dysphoria is discomfort having to do with your body not aligning with your gender identity. This can include sex characteristics that come with puberty and even things as small as hand/foot size, face shape, or height. This is one of the easier types of dysphoria to alleviate as it typically can be fixed with clothing and other things. Chest dysphoria can be alleviated with binders or breast forms. Face shape can be altered with contouring. Some things like voice dysphoria can be fixed with vocal training and for those going from female to a more masculine leaning gender, testosterone will lower the voice after time.
Mind:
This can apply to dysphoria having to do with emotions and thoughts not lining up with your gender identity. As a person who deals with this kind of dysphoria a lot, this can be kind of hard to explain to others. For example, trans men may feel weak or not man enough because they are highly emotional. While it seems silly and even offensive, it’s been rooted in a lot of parts of society. Media has normalized so many things for men and women and how they’re supposed to think and act, no matter how stereotypical and stupid it may seem. This can seep deep into our minds and be there subconsciously.
How to Help Your Loved Ones:
I should preface that sometimes dysphoria can seem dumb or weird to those who aren’t experiencing it. Sometimes I catch myself thinking something so outlandish and I catch myself off guard. Even when it seems silly, it can still have an impact. If they feel comfortable enough to share this dysphoria with you, try and talk through it with them. Actively listen to them, and let them speak before interjecting. Let them know that they are heard. Dysphoria is rough and it’s important to remember that it is often not in our control. It’s a feeling that pops up just like any other emotion. While we can do some things to alleviate it, that’s not always going to fix it. Talking it out and getting support helps.
Gender Affirming Resources (non-medical related):
There are many ways to help alleviate dysphoria. While these are mostly physical, they can still be good first steps. I’m going to break it down between trans-feminine AMAB (assigned male at birth) and trans-masculine AFAB (assigned female at birth). I am choosing to avoid super expensive options because… seriously… Why is one set of tucking underwear and a bra $99? That’s basically robbery. It's incredible how pricey an extra piece of fabric can be. This is why I’ve listed the most cost effective options I could find/have used and recommend.
Trans-Masculine (AFAB) -
Binders/Trans tape:
Chest dysphoria can be awful, binders can help compress breast tissue for short periods of time. With binders, it’s important to note safety as a big part of them. Please do not wear your binder for over 6-8 hours (it depends on the type and they will usually state on their websites) unless they are specifically made in a way that is for all day use. If you experience any rib discomfort that becomes consistent while wearing your binder, consider taking a break. I also suggest not sleeping in them, your body does need a break even with binders that are made for all day use. Do not wear a normal binder to swim unless it’s a size larger than you need or it is made to be a swim binder. Trans tape comes with its own set of challenges. Be careful when applying and removing as it can rip skin. Be patient with yourself when applying for the first couple of times, it can be kind of infuriating. There are many guides online to help you out!
Wivov - Has swim binders that are labeled as such! These are made for longer time use but it is still important to give yourself breaks.
Spectrum - The 8 hour rule applies to these, so remember to give your body a break. They work extremely well. They may seem a bit stiff at first but they will get better.
Trans tape - 18+ warning for some parts of their site as they are a sex positive company! You can avoid that by simply typing in trans tape in your search engine and clicking “Trans tape rolls” from the search page.
Packers:
This is for people with bottom/genital dysphoria. They mimic AMAB genitalia to help relieve bottom dysphoria. Some are more realistic while some are just foam that mimics a normal bulge. There are also types known as stand to pee (STP) devices that do… exactly what they sound like they do!
Trans tape - There is a packing kit that they carry! It includes tape, 3 rings, and a packer that comes in a few varieties of skin tones. There are also tutorials on how to pack with trans tape on their site!
Etsy - Etsy has basically everything you need! There are many different types you can find as well as boxers/harnesses made for keeping packers in place.
Amazon - The same as Etsy, prices vary!
Trans Guy Supply - Relatively cheap compared to many other sites! Varieties of skin tones and sizes.
Sole inserts:
If you experience height dysphoria, these are for you! These can be inserted into your shoes to give you a little extra height boost.
Tall Men Shoes - The insoles they have only boost up to 2 inches. For their actual height boost shoes, the smallest size they have is a men’s US 6 (8 women’s US). The insoles are, obviously, the cheaper option.
Walmart - Walmart literally has everything, what can I say?
Foot Insole - Men’s inserts only have sizes 7-11, the women’s inserts go from sizes 5.5-9.5. They also have ones for both size types that can fit almost any shoe size.
Period boxers:
Period dysphoria is extremely common and sometimes having to wear “feminine” underwear can cause discomfort. These are unfortunately pretty expensive but the cost effective labeled ones will highlight boxer adjacent things that are compatible with winged pads.
TomBoyX - These come with gussets that lift for winged pads! They are a bit expensive for one pair though.
The Period Company - These are the kind of underwear that are meant to be free bled in, they will need to be washed after use.
TOM Boxers - These are also pricey but, unfortunately, that’s what I’ve noticed about many of these companies. They have gussets made for winged pads!
Trans-feminine (AMAB) -
Breast forms/bust enhancing things:
Breasts come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. AMAB individuals who maybe aren't on estrogen or are but haven't begun developing breasts may feel some dysphoria surrounding the size of their bust, breast forms/inserts can help!
Unclockable - Just under $30. Slips inside a bra to give the illusion of breasts.
Amazon - Wide varieties upon search!
Tucking tape and other tucking options:
Tucking is basically taking AMAB genitalia and “tucking” it between the legs. It is… a bit more complicated than that but I'll be giving resources that show how to do so. While I have never had to tuck, I’ve learned a bunch from informative videos. PLEASE be careful. I suggest watching videos to help you if you’re new to tucking just to make sure you’re doing it in a way that’s as comfortable and safe as possible. Do not use duct tape or tape not made for usage on skin. While it seems silly that I even have to say this, it has happened and the results of taking it off have not been great!
Tape:
Unclockable - Smaller tape is under $20! The larger tape is ~$27.
Amazon - Amazon always has a wide variety of stuff! Remember to read reviews!
Trans tape - Trans tape, while commonly used for chest binding, can also be used as a tucking method! This link goes to the tutorial on how!
Underwear:
Ruby Shines - Have a wide variety of shaping underwear, bras, chest pads, and swimwear!
Bill and Brandon - Just under $30 for tucking underwear!
Conclusion:
There’s no correct way to be trans. If someone’s dysphoria seems worse than yours, it does not make you any less valid. We all experience things differently. Your dysphoria does not need to be constant for you to be valid, it can come in waves. Everyone who experiences dysphoria experiences it in their own unique ways, no one is less or more valid. It is always important to be respectful about this kind of stuff, do not put others down because of how they experience their dysphoria. Everyone has their own thing going on and should not be pressured into things just because you think you have to do something the “right way”.
Be kind to those on different paths than you,
Dylan 🩵🩷🤍
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